Je viens de redescendre sur Terre. Mercredi Soir, je me suis posé Ã
à Anvers, en Belgique, un peu étrange d'être aussi loin de chez moi, d'ailleurs. Ca faisait tellement longtemps que j'ai eu du mal à reconnaître tout ce qui m'était famillier, auparavant. Les arbres, les pavés orangés sous la lumière des lampadaires, tout m'était nouveau, sous un jour différent. J'ai essayé de reprendre contact avec les autres humains, mais tout est très difficile, et je n'ai pas pu parler beaucoup. Ils m'ont l'air tous fades, et sans intérêt, et quelques autres ne sont toujours pas redescendus, de toute façon. C'est reprendre les vieilles habitudes qui me sera le plus difficile, tous ces gestes du quotidien qui me semblaient sublimés, quand j'étais encore en haut. Je m'isole en attendant, peut-être que tout reviendra si je n'y fais pas attention.
C'est surtout l'arrivée qui a été difficile, me poser et prendre conscience de tout ce que j'avais laissé en haut. Maintenant je ne dirais pas que je souffre du mal des hauteurs, comme on souffre du mal du pays. Non, c'est plutôt un état ambiant, ou je ne suis jamais vraiment heureux. De toutes petites touches me rapellent comment c'était, là haut, et je suis pris de légères convulsions, physiques, je tremble, un peu. J'espère que ça passera. Je redécouvre le monde, maintenant, et je n'y vois plus rien d'intéressant. Ou sont passées toutes les choses qui me charmaient, vues d'en haut ? Je ne retrouve même plus rien de ce que j'avais laissé en partant.
Qu'est ce qu'il me reste à l'arrivée ? Plus grand chose. Tout est différent en bas, étrangement hostile, même. Il y avait un autre cosmonaute qui était là pour m'accueillir quand je suis redescendu. Il avait réussi à décoller il n'y a pas longtemps et était redescendu il y a une ou deux semaines. On a ressassés nos souvenirs, et même pleurés, pas mal. On a parlé du temps qu'on ne voyait pas passer et qui passait si vite, des bons et des mauvais moments, de cet endroit qu'on adorait, et où l'on desespère de retourner. Je le regardais pendant qu'il était assis à côté de moi, et je voyais dans ces yeux qu'il n'était pas encore revenu de cet endroit dont on parlait, parce qu'il n'acceptait pas d'être redescendu sur Terre et qu'il aurait voulu, comme nous tous, rester là haut.
Pourtant on m'avait prévenu que j'allais bientôt revenir, mais j'avais repoussé tout ça jusqu'au dernier moment, et c'est juste quand je me suis retrouvé sur ce banc dans cette ville pas loin d'Anvers, à côté d'une auberge de jeunesse qui ne la retrouvait pas, que j'ai réalisé que le voyage était terminé. Je me souviens avoir ri nerveusement, en m'éloignant, d'un de mes grands rires un peu malsain, et m'être arrêté à côté de l'autoroute pour insulter les voitures, et tous ceux qui n'y étaient pour rien.
J'ai passé près de cinq mois là haut. Aujourd'hui, ce sont mes premiers pas de cosmonautes sur Terre, revenu de tout là haut. Et son apesanteur me manque.
Samedi 12 avril 2008 Ã 13:14
Commentaires
Par Samedi 12 avril 2008 Ã 15:16
le tu m'as mis les larmes aux yeux un instant, le genre de phénomènes qui m'arrive assez peu souvent en lisant jdois dire
j'sais pas si c'est de l'empathie ou quoi
mais bon courage pour ce retour au sol
j'sais pas si c'est de l'empathie ou quoi
mais bon courage pour ce retour au sol
Par Samedi 12 avril 2008 Ã 16:16
le J'ai pas fini de lire. Mais merde. (ou la curiosité qui ne fait lire que les lettres blanches)
Par Samedi 12 avril 2008 Ã 18:38
le Tu as réussi à faire couler les larmes que je retenais depuis 13h. Je comprends très bien tout ça.
Aujourd'hui c'est un peu un retour pour moi aussi. Une seconde fois.
Alors bon courage... mes pensées t'accompagnent.
Aujourd'hui c'est un peu un retour pour moi aussi. Une seconde fois.
Alors bon courage... mes pensées t'accompagnent.
Par Samedi 12 avril 2008 Ã 18:40
le Du moment que tu ne descends pas trop en dessous du sol pour aller faire un tour dans les enfers...
(Je t'évite le couplet sur l'oreille attentive, tu le connais).
(Je t'évite le couplet sur l'oreille attentive, tu le connais).
Par Mercredi 16 avril 2008 Ã 14:28
le (Malgré tout, ce texte est réellement sublime...)
Par Vendredi 23 septembre 2016 Ã 2:38
le Viens à Bruges, à Berlin,
Par Vendredi 18 février 2022 à 0:00
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Moi j'ai l'impression de perdre un peu d'altitude ces derniers temps, de ne plus être au dessus des nuages mais pile à leur niveau, là où tout est brumeux et où l'on ne voit pas clair.
J'attends juste la petite impulsion, celle qui te fait remonter en quelques minutes et qui te fait tout oublier, même les nuages brumeux d'antan et le sol si lourd d'en bas.