Mardi 1er mai 2007 Ã 12:26
"Je suis fatigué." (Master Mac Diwa, aujourd'hui à 17h32)
Il est 20h à Diwaland, et comme souvent les autres jours, et il est temps passer à votre chronique préférée, les DiwaNiouzes!
"Mesdames et messieurs, bonsoir et bienvenues au Diwaniouzes. Aujourd'hui, notre président bien aimé Master Mac Diwa est revenu dans notre chère patrie, après un voyage de cinq jours à Lyon, puis au sein de la capitale de France, ou il a chaleureusement serré la main du Président Français, tout en évoquant rapidement la peinture à l'huile avec celui ci.
Notre cher dirigeant en a profité pour aller voir Scoop, le dernier film de Woody Allen, citoyen d'honneur de Diwaland, qui a dit un jour, nous vous le rapellons: "J'adore Diwacity, je prefère présenter mes films là bas, ils ont beaucoup plus de succès quand je parle de sucre en poudre."
Master Mac Diwa à aimé le film, il y a revu des acteurs qui lui sont fort sympathiques et à passé un bon moment en compagnie de quelques connaissances politiques. Il a même vu Alain Chabat en sortant des Halles. Si, si, et il a toujours l'air aussi sympathique dans la vraie vie qu'c'est pas un fake.
Ensuite Master Mac Diwa, notre président bien aimé à tenté d'appeler une jeune fille de sa connaissance qui, malheureusement pour lui prenait au même moment l'avion pour Londres. Il aura eu cette phrase celèbre, selon témoin: "Même mes banquiers ne vont pas aussi vite pour me fuir." Comme quoi, notre chef bien aimé garde toujours un sens de l'humour à l'épreuve des balles, ceci en toutes circonstances! Voilà qui peut réjouir le mental de nos chers citoyens!
Après un bon repas en compagnie de sa chaussure droite, Master Mac Diwa à flâné près de la Tour Eiffel (il aurait voulu "se rendre compte"). Une fois de plus on nous rapporte qu'il aurait comparé la tour Effeil à la taille de son sexe avec un grognement ravi. Bonne nouvelle donc, pour nos citoyens diwalandiens qui peuvent dormir sur leurs deux oreilles, la continuité du peuple Diwalandais est entre de bonnes mains.
Notre cher président à toujours le mot pour rire, je lis ici qu'il s'est même fait passer pour un autochtone à la gare de l'est, en achetant un ticket de train dans un français parfait, canular qu'il a réussi avec un succès certain, au grand plaisir de ses gardes du corps, que le petit tour à beaucoup amusés. Bizarrement, on n'as pas noté de réaction du côté de l'équipe de vente du point SNCF.
Pour résumer, Diwalandais, Diwalandais, vous qui travaillez jours et nuits pour assurer à notre merveilleux président un avenir confortable, sachez que votre honorable mission est couronnée de succès pour le moment! Soyez en fiers, mes enfants.
Voilà , c'est la fin de notre journal, rendez vous dans un laps de temps tout à fait incertain pour une nouvelle édition des Diwaniouzes. Soyez heureux. C'est un ordre.
[Posté le Vendredi 2 Novembre 2006]
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